What's on tonight: Wednesday the 30th.

SEASON PREMIERES:
ABC: Hank at 8p; The Middle at 8:30p
TLC: I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant at 8p; King of the Crown at 9p
BET: First In at 10p
MTV: The Real World / Road Rules Challenge at 10p
SOAPnet: Bank of Mom and Dad at 10p

TiVo SEASON PASS:
CW: America's Next Top Model at 8p
Bravo: Top Chef Las Vegas at 10p

GIVING ANOTHER SHOT:
ABC: Cougar Town at 9:30p, Eastwick at 10p
FOX: Glee at 9p

Tonight: The Hills // The City

I haven't watched MTV in a very long time, and tuning in on a Tuesday night feels odd. I'm a little thrown off; My juicy nights have always been on Mondays, easing me into the week from the weekend. But alright, MTV. Tuesday night it is. I'll see if I can adjust. (I've got 90210 to start things off with, so I guess it's still pretty juicy.)

The Hills

It's hard to believe that this show is still on. They've told us again and again that it was done and over, but here I am watching yet another season premiere.

In the opening scene, we've got Audrina, Lo, and Stephanie discussing (the yet to be seen ex-Laguna Beach lead) Kristin Cavallari. "Is she going to be our friend now?" they ask after describing Kristin's long resume of catfights. Oh, we all hope so. This show won't be any good without her.

After a lot of build up and forced confrontation, we've got a girly brawl at a pool party within only the first 8 minutes of the premiere. "It's on Bitch" Kristin warns Audrina (who also entered herself shamelessly into the drama.) I hate this girl already. Nice set up MTV. You got me.

From "Every single girlfriend needs to worry about their boyfriend" to "How can one person turn all of our lives upside down?", most of the episode is spent expressing uneasy feelings surrounding the new narrator. Kristin is the talk of the town, and it's no wonder. That girl seems to crave trouble as much as I crave bad TV.

Cut to Heidi and Spencer doing who knows what. (Why again do we care about them?) They, too, are aware that the [Bitch is Back.] "She's a real deal female player if I've ever seen one." (Oh right, that's what we keep 'em around for. Spencer's one-liners. The best one this week: "My way or the lame way.") And he's right, Kristin has already involved herself in a love triangle that most of the other girls are not happy about at all. I find it awkward that she and Justin spend all of their moments together talking about Audrina and how she might feel about them dating. Someone suggests that they're dating out of spite. Hm. You think?

I have to hand it to MTV. I think they've pretty much mastered the perfectly crafted "reality show" drama. The episode ends with Justin and Kristin chatting about how they will break in Kristin's bed.

Trashy girl. I miss Lauren. Even though she was stuffy and dull, at least she had some class.

The City

The guilty pleasure of watching this show is vastly different than watching The Hills. There isn't really a character I love in The Hills; I pretty much just watch to have some sort of ridiculous show to hate to love. The City, however, I do adore Whitney Port. She is a sweetheart, and I can't help but love seeing her side of things. I also love that this show is in New York City. Now that I've been to NY, it's even more exciting to see the sights again.

Even if the critics think its boring, I enjoy this show. Maybe this season will be a little crazier. We've got Roxy and Olivia to cause some problems. [Olivia taking her mic off mid-fight, and Roxy pushing Whitney's boundaries.] I'm sure there's more to come.

Oh, and is it wrong of me to want to see Olivia break down and cry? Something about her is just not natural. I'd like her open up a bit further this season.

What's on tonight: Tuesday the 29th.

SEASON PREMIERES:
MTV: The Hills at 10p; The City at 10:30p
Animal Planet: Weird, True and Freaky at 9p; Lost Tapes at 10p

TiVo SEASON PASS:
CW: 90210 at 8p
Bravo: Flipping Out at 10p

GIVING ANOTHER SHOT (* I was told I should.)
CW: Melrose Place at 9p

What's on tonight: Monday the 28th.

SEASON PREMIERES:
MTV: Disaster Date at 6p
FOX: Lie to Me at 9p
NBC: Trauma at 9p

TiVo SEASON PASS:
CW: Gossip Girl at 9p
Bravo: The Rachel Zoe Project at 10p

Tonight: The VMA's

I didn't even know the VMA's were tonight, but I heard about it on the tweets, so I was able to tune in. Luckily.

Here's what I've got to say:

Story time with Madonna: Too rushed. Write a book. Seriously. I'll read that.

Tribute to MJ: Thriller dance was expected. Janet gave me the chills / almost tears.

Taylor Swift moment: Mind blowing. Kanye sucks. Poor Taylor. Such a sweet, unexpected moment for her.. completely ruined. But totally turned around with her top notch performance and ladies in red moment with Beyonce.

Lady GaGa: Not that into her, but the set for her performance was awesome. Can someone please explain the costumes throughout to me? What am I missing?

On-Air nerd comment: VMA packaging overall was pretty cool. I liked the tiny fonts and super tiny / scratch art-ish graphics. Not too over-powering like a lot of MTV's stuff usually is.

That's all I got. I don't tune in to MTV all that much. Only thing that caught my eye during the show was, of course, the promo for The Hills. Will watch that... I can almost guarantee.

Monday Night Discoveries: A Comparison

So I've been watching Date My Ex for the past 4 weeks... and now that The Hills is back, I've got a 10pm conflict. What to do... Hm...

Lessons learned from watching MTV's The Hills:

1. It's always about you. If you're throwing a birthday party for a friend, it doesn't really matter if she's having fun. If you're not getting what you want, the party most definitely is a total failure.
2. Spencer Pratt doesn't like ANYONE except Heidi Montag.. not even her sister.
3. Doug is a stupid name.

Lessons learned from watching Bravo's Date My Ex:

1. Slade Smiley doesn't like when people swim in his water feature. (2 part lesson: It's a water feature, not a pond.)
2. Never make offensive jokes about someone's ex-finace... especially if you're living in that someone's house.
3. Jo De La Rosa can actually have good taste in men. It is possible! Yay! for the nice guy finishing first this time.

So...since all of the lessons learned from The Hills are actually a total joke... perhaps Date My Ex is the better choice. [Insert Rachel Zoe gasp here.] I know, I'm shocked too. But justice was served last night on Date My Ex.. and well, The Hills was just disappointing. I tried to fall for the drama in The Hills, and I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. Lauren and Lo don't ever try to make things better... and sadly, because of all of the hype, I'm now stuck thinking that they are actually trying to make things worse. It's frustrating as a viewer -- Critics! Leave it alone! I was completely content before you told me it was fake. -- Plus, throughout the (too short) 30 minute episode, I'm sitting there hoping that, just once, Heidi will punch Spencer in the face (literally, or metaphorically speaking.) I vote for a Whitney spin-off. She's the only likeable character... even if she did make fun of Doug's name.